Match Begins

JR: Jack Diamond Walks around the Hardware store looking for Kenbeniot, with a nailgun in both hands.

King: Kenbeniot can't win this match, the Judge made a mismatch.

JR: Your Mother and Father conceiving you is a mismatch.

King: Real funny JR

JR: JD spots Kenbeniot in the wall section and starts to fire away on him.

King: Talk about spitting nails.

JR: JD really trying to nail Kenbeniot, but Ken is too agile for him. Dodging each nail fired.

King: From What I heard Kenbeniot has never been nailed by anyone in his life, i even heard he couldn't even nail a $5 whore.

JR: Kenbeniot gets behind the wall panel, as JD is embedding nails into it, Kenbeniot picks up the panel and start to charge JD in it. JD unloading the Nailguns, trying to get one to strick Kenbeniots palm.


King: Kenbeniot just boarded JD with that panel.

JR: JD floored by Kenbeniots Panel charge, and Kenbeniot is jumping up and down on that board. Trying to hurt JD, who is under that board.


King: Don't you hate it when you accidently step on a nail.

JR: Just as much as hearing one of Jericho's Dumb Speeches or Prototype's for that matter.

King: I can see Kenbeniot is Hopping mad, now he grabs a 2x4 and start to pound that panel. 1..2...3..4...5...6..7

JR: JD now pushes that board upward, distracting Kenbeniot long enough to roll up to a stance. JD see Kenbeniot holding that 2x4 like Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and starts to Backpedal and run.

King: Run, Jack, Run!!! He's got a board with a nail on it!!!

JR: JD heads for the Plumbing section of the hardware store, grabs a lead pipe. What for, Kenbeniot has the reach advantage with that 2x4. Still running, and starts to knock off the support holding those small lead pipes, stacked like logs.

King: Ooooh, that's going to leave a bruise.

JR: I bet, as the pipes roll off the shelf, and land on the Kenbeniot's side. JD walks backs and start to repeatly hit Kenbeniot's Forehead with his right fist.

King: Hey, Closed fist are illegal.

JR: King, this is a hardcore match, No Holds barred. JD grabs the back of Kenbeniot's head and oooh....slams Kenbeniot's face into toss pipes.

King: We never said that Kenbeniot was a just a pretty face....not anymore.

JR: JD picks up Kenbeniot and start to drag him over to the Bathroom section and start to... oh dear god for the love of christ no, noooo.

King: No matter how many thing i see it, i still think it's funny.

JR: JD just rammed Kenbeniot's head into the Toilet.

King: I hope that one's for Rakishi, so his butt doesn't feel lonely now that this toilet has that new face smell.

JR: JD slams the plastic lid on Kenbeniot's head and is looking in the bathroom section for a Plumber's helper.

King: Kenbeniot is still groggy after getting his head out of that toilet, good thing that commode wasn't installed.

JR: JD is about to hit Kenbeniot's back with that Plumber's helper, and Kenbeniot retaliates with by hitting him in the stomach with the porcelain lid. Now another one to the face of JD, now JD is busted open from the nose. Kenbeniot using that lid on the back of JD's head, JD is out on the ground, but Kenbeniot goes for the pin 1...2... too close. Kenbeniot is livid, he picks up Jack Diamond and drags him to the door's section.

King: Maybe Ken is looking for a new bell to ring on JD.

JR: Kenbeniot's slams shut one of the glass door and oh no, DON'T THAT ONE HUNDRED GLASS, DON'T DO IT!!! NOOOOOO!


King: Well, that one way to toss out uninvited guests.

JR: JD bleeding now from the forehead from that broken glass. Kenbeniot now picks up JD and drags him over to the gardening section, Kenbeniot with a knee to the midsection, goes over to one of the birdbaths shaped like a shell, sets it on the ground, grabs JD and NO, DON'T DO IT DO YOU DARE!!!!<P>

King: Don't over it, JR. Kenbeniot attempting to piledrive JD on top of that concrete birdbath. One attempt..failed, he tries again, no good. Kenbeniot is running out of gas.

JR: Backdrop by JD as Kenbeniot lands on the concrete. JD wipes the blood from his face, and boy is JD red.

King: I can't believe it, Kenbeniot was about to pull an upset. Oh oh, JD sees something that grabs his eye.

JR: JD grabs Kenbeniot and drags him over to the...Oh my, he wouldn't..He did...JD just smeared Kenbeniot's face in the bags of Fertilizer. Kenbeniot's legs are fly all over the place.

King: JR, Face it Kenbeniot's record stinks and now he'll stink literally. I guess Kenbeniot won't be dating Barbi anytime soon.

JR: JD rubbing Kenbeniot face into those bags of Steer manure. Kenbeniot, now on the floor rubbing that stuff off his face and spitting as JD grabs the garden hose.

King: Well, fans, this is going to the first time i have ever seen a man Hose whippd in my life.

JR: JD whipping Kenbeniot's back with that garden hose. Kenbeniot is in pain now, as you can see the welts form on his back.

King:JD is choking Kenbeniot with that rope, stop it you're killing him, you bastich.

JR: Kenbeniot grab JD head and does a neckbreaker, forcing JD to release the hold. Kenbeniot staggers to his feet and start to grabs the shovel and now he starts to hit JD over the head with it. JD backpedal from the hit, and Kenbeniot right now holding that shovel like a samurai sword over his head, and swing.

King: JD!!! Look out!!!

JR: JD ducks and moves out of the way, and now ducks back into the store. He knock over pet supplies in front of Kenbeniot, slowing him down, as Jack Diamond runs over to the paint section, now grabs a bucket of paint, takes it to the turnstile, as Kenbeniot trips over a doggy toy, and start to get up slowly as JD opens the paint can, start to put color into the can and start to mix the can quickly, hiding behind the counter.

Kenbeniot: Jack, come out where ever you are. I got a nice surprise for you.

JR: Kenbeniot round the corner of the paint counter, shovel in hand. Jack Diamond whistles behind him, Kenbeniot swing over a Ducked Jack Diamond and is splashed in the front with a can of....Yellow Paint!!!

King: JD was only proving a point that all his opponents with the exception of Papashangoe, that have faced him in the past were all no-selling cowards. Kenbeniot is no different from them.

JR: Indeed, JD now drops the paint can and grabs one of those thin wooden rods.

King: What are those things for.

JR: I don't know, i am not a handy man.

King: I thought you were, since you spend a lot of hours a lot alone in your hotel room, specially late at night.

JR: What i do in my bedroom is none of your business, king

King:Well exxxxccccuuuuusssseeee me.

JR: Oooooh great shades of Singapore, JD canning Kenbeniot with that Wooden rod.

Kenbeniot: Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh.

JR: JD whipping him with that stick again and again. Now Jack Diamond takes him over to the Kitchen, and starts to slam Kenbeniot's head over the sink.

King: an I was going to say they used everything but the kitchen sink.

JR: JD tries again but Kenbeniot blocks him and slam JD's head on the kitchen sink, both men now groggy as Kenbeniot starts to stagger over to the hammer section, and grabs a sledgehammer, JD is grabbing his forehead not knowing what Kenbeniot is bringing with him.

King: These two are about to have some headache.

JR: Kenbeniot has just hit the knee brace of Jack Diamond, reinjuring that the knee.

Jack Diamond: aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh!!!!!

King: Bet that'll leave a mark.

JR: JD is down on the ground, NO, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!! NOOO!! Kenbeniot just hit that knee again, JD is crawling out of the Kitchen section trying to put some distance between him and Kenbeniot. Kenbeniot with that smug smile, now kicking JD as he's crawling in pain from his knee.

King: Talk about kicking a man when he's down.

JR: Now, Kenbeniot is toying with the former Hardcore champion. Kenbeniot using that handle across the back of JD. JD crawling past Micheal Cole.

Micheal Cole: Can someone please help me down, I got some interviews, Kenbeniot?

Kenbeniot: Later, I'm busy.

King: Cole, you should never bother an artist at work.

Cole: Screw you, King. At least, i have more important things to do than you.

King: You're not an announcer, Cole. So Shut up Cole. That Micheal Cole is such an idiot.

Cole: I heard that!!!!

JR: Back to the match, JD trying to crawl away from Kenbeniot on her hands and good leg. Kenbeniot is stalking him with that sledgehammer.

Kenbeniot: Come on, bad boy, Get up, you're ruining my fun!!!

JR: JD is slowly getting up, and Kenbeniot hit the back of the knee with the sledgehammer, causing JD to clutch his knee!!!

Kenbeniot: GET UP!!!

JR: Stop it!!! Don't you have any dignity?!!!

King: JR, this is the guy who miserably tried to join the Covenant.

JR: Jack Diamond gets up slowly again, grabbng the side of the shelves, Kenbeniot hit the back of the knee again. JD buckles, but this time don't go down all the way.

Kenbeniot: still got some fight in you, time to finish it.

King: I hate say it but Jack Diamond got more guts than brain, and i know that JD is a smart man.

JR: Jack please quit the match, for the love of god, quit. Kenbeniot setting up that sledgehammer once more gets it over his head to swing, Jack Diamond has swung something in Kenbeniot's gut, and now Jack Diamond just put his Chaulk in Kenbeniot's mouth.

King: That is dirty, nasty, I can't believe JD would do that. I didn't know JD's was detachable.

JR: Not Cock, Chaulk.

King: It's still a nasty to do, putting your wang in some guys mouth. Even if Kenbeniot is a Hermaphrodite.


King: oh no, i am sorry, i really am.

JR: King, don't take to me, JD squeezed the Chaulk gun, and now Kenbeniot is gagging on the chaulk as he tries to cough it, distracting Kenbeniot long enough for JD to get into position, Kenbeniot turn to face JD with the Chaulk in his mouth, ohhh my, the spear, Kenbeniot got Speared, he's on the floor, still coughing the chaulk out of his mouth, now JD is staggering to the sheet rock on the other side of the aisle and NOOOOO DON'T DO IT!!!!!

JD: Aaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh!!!!

*RUMBLE!!!!* * CRASH!!!!*

King: Well, that's interesting.

JR: JD just knocked over piles of Sheet rock over Kenbeniot and now is calling for the ref to call the count. 1....2....3! it's over Jack wins the match!!! Jack wins once again, but someone get the EMTs over to Kenbeniot he's coughing up blood right now.

Jack Diamond Staggers over to Micheal Cole, still nailed to the wall.

Cole: Nice match, Jack. Very Gruesome finish by the way, no doubt about it.

JD: Cole, quit kissing up!!!

Cole: Can you please get me down?

JD: Nope, can't put much weight on that knee.

Cole: last words, perhaps

JD: That will be the fate of all canadian slammers, that get in my way. You got a problem with that, get in line. I'm waiting fools. (leaves)